Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Levar "Stumblin' and a Mumblin" Moore vs Lenee "The Adultery Whisperer" Moore

Lenee wants her $3,000 alligator jacket back because husband Levar "is a dog" who "bought some girl a $200 watch." Levar wants to ditch the "loony tune" wife who tried to draw some Homeland Security attention on the plane en route to their Divorce Court appearance. (The FBI apparently stopped them when they got off the plane, but that story don't seem legit. Still, future Divorce Court contestants: DO NOT FLY TOGETHER.)
The hits just keep coming, though. Seems that Lenee sent some gunfire Levar's way when she wanted to know where he been. "I'm running out the house and I hear gunshot!" recounts Levar.
To which Lenee's all, "wasn't trying to hurt him, Just wanted to scare him. He was on the phone with some girl that he cheated on me with. I shot in the air."
Oh, it gets better. All aboard.

Lenee: "I have a gift from God in me. I told Him ... I said ... Look here ... I said ... I felt like something wasn't right ... I went to this, to this ... winding down the road ... I asked God to show me where this man was. He took me directly to this house. He isn't going to admit to it. His car was out there at the lady house. Just like I said. I knocked on the door."

Judge Lynn Toler: "So God gave you directions to the woman's house where he was at, where he was cheating?"

Lenee: "Mmmhmm. I ain't ever been there!"

Levar: "Mmhm. Mmhm. GPS. God's personal secret. Ok, just like when God sent her over to that girl's house. I guess God was dealing with her when God said 'Throw them can of pinto beans at 'er. 'Cause that's what she did. Was God talking still? I don't know if she stopped by the store or what on the way over. I just know I'm duckin' beans when I walk out the door. Ain't asked me no questions or nothing."

Toler (head in hand laughing): "Did ya throw pinto beans at the man?"

Lenee: "Naw, I ain't throw no pinto beans. That was baby's formula. I didn't throw it at him. I threw it because he was calling me 'Bs' and cusswords in front of this girl ... Don't disrespect me in front of this woman. If you wrong, you wrong. Leave the house. I'll yell at you."

Toler: "Why was you there?"

Levar: "We was studying."

Toler and Lenee simultaneously: "Studying what?!"

Lenee: "Studying How to Love?!"

Levar: "I can't remember the subject but... I'm in college."

Toler: "You were in college?"
Lenee: "She ain't in college."

Toler: "Was she in college with you?"

Levar: "Naw, she was just helping me a little bit."

Lenee: "Aww, helping you do what? Helping you do what? Helping you do what?"

Levar: "I'm just trying to touch up and get back. She already there."

Toler: "I'm trying to touch up and get back. What does that mean?"

Levar: "Well basically, I well, I was basically trying to, you know, she was just trying to help me out a little bit some things she knew better than I do."

Toler: "Is it true, Mr. Moore, that you're somewhat less than faithful to your wife?"

Lenee: "Whooo!"

Levar: "Being that this is a court of law, I thought you had to prove those kinds of things. And ... dig?"

Toler: "I hear what you're telling me. I do. But, I want to know, from you, have you been less than faithful to your wife?"

Lenee: (indiscernable sound of gotcha approval) "Talk!"

Levar: "It depends on what, um, no Ma'am. Faithful meaning? Yes, I have been faithful."

Lenee: "You been faithful to me Levar?"

Toler: "That is the worst lie I ever heard in my, I've had a five year old come up with a story better than that. You can't even get out the word, 'No.'"

Oh, if you want to weigh in on whether you believe Lenee psychic abilities are legit, the lines are open: 800.282.1991.

No comments:

Post a Comment