Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Derek "Deacon" Holmes vs. Karla "Kheater" Holmes

Wow. Truth up front: This case was an honest, legitimate look at the pains of divorce not a jokey sort of one with all sorts of slurs being thrown about. Derek vs. Karla had the feel of a cleaned-up Dr. Phil, an Oprah-look at what happens when the man in the relationship tells the woman that he's gone if she cheats and, after she cheats, because she thought he was cheating, when he wasn't cheating, he leaves. In pain. Like an honest-to-goodness decent person.
Fine, there are some old school complaints. Derek says she stopped cleaning and catering to him after he put a ring on it. Karla says he turned all "deacon" and controlling and didn't like his friends. At issue: Her gay friends. She said he had a problem with them. He said he didn't have an issue with them, but with a flamboyance, the "just being loud" when they walk in the house and the baby's sleeping. Ain't a hate of a lifestyle, whatsoever.
Then, Karla says, "he thinks the woman's place is in the household." To which he says, "Well, to some degree, yes your Honor." Deacon thinks a woman should tend to her family, rather than the friends she'd already talked to all day. Point, Derek.
Even as they go 'round and 'round the divorcarosel, you can tell that these people are still in love with one another. (Another issue was "pop lockin and droppin" which Karla says she was doing even before they got married but Derek would appreciate some growing up going on.
A few fun facts:
-- Derek stays out late sometimes, like till 3 a.m., so Karla keeps locksets in the trunk of her car so she can change the locks to the house on a moment's notice.
-- Karla teared up, ripped up, eight of his suits, three pair of shoes and "three of my new hats." Then, she said she would have got the rest of it, but she had to go to work. She admits she felt better when she was done. But, she also accepts she has to work on her anger issues.
-- Karla explains that she actually loses weight when she's pregnant. She thought she looked good. Derek called her Miss Twiggy. "He married somebody thick." Judge Toler: "You like them thick." Derek: "Yes, Ma'am."
-- When Karla admitted to cheating, Toler told Derek he should've opened with that fact! "Told myself it was getting even with him, but I just felt low," she says.
-- She was pregnant three weeks later. Came clean. Damn conscience. "I couldn't wait nine months to find out" whose child it was," she says. If the DNA comes back not-him, Derek says he's altogether out the picture. But the DNA test came back Derek so he didn't even want to collect reimbursement for the ripped-up clothes.
The conclusion: He wants to take care of the kid, even if they must get divorced.
At which point, her honor declared, "Anybody looking, anybody paying attention, this is what a man is, this is what a man does. This is what we're looking for. Mr. Holmes, you the man. I don't know what else to say." Here here.
Now, I hope the next episode is back down in the trailer-park mud. I can't handle meaningful sh*t on Divorce Court too often.

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