Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Jamey "Buttercup" Brackley vs. Rich "I Grew a Luscious Goatee Since the '03 Appearance When My Wife Told the World I Was Racist" Brackley

Where oh where, do I begin?
With the time Rich Brackley painted swastikas on Jewish lawyers' lawns or got into "fights with black people, the apes, y'know, just for the Hell of it"?
Or how Rich didn't get to bang his new bride on their wedding night 'cause she was off diddling some chick she dug?
Yeah, that sounds like a good introduction for a case when an "apefighter" is asking for $4K for "emotional distress." Oh, and he's the saner member of the bunch.
So anyway, Rich says he's seen the 2003 episode and he thought he looked like a damn brainwashed fool. (And who said daytime-court TV shows don't have a positive impact?!) He went from "you people got Jesus Christ, I got Hitler" to "I changed my ways for her and all she did was get worse on me, lying, cheating on me. I burnt my flags. I got rid of all my little Hitler things. I got rid of all my books; I don't want my kid seeing that. It was a stupid thing."
So Buttercup chimes in -- and, as a side note, she's probably the second, third best-looking dame I've seen on D.C. but she loses cute points for the Northeast-Philly-esque accent ... and the insanity -- that he's still angry and all attitude-y with her. And Rich readily admits that the Italian anger rubbed off on kiddo.
An example of hubby anger: When some dude "drove her home from work," Rich went all berzerker style beating him up to the point that wifey attacked him with a motorcycle helmet. At first, this sounded like overkill. I mean, the dude was 17 years old for crissake. But then Rich came correct with words of Divorce Court wisdom:
"If you're old enough to have a job, old enough to have a car, old enough to sleep with someone's wife, you're old enough to get beat."
This was followed by applause from the gallery. As it should have been.
From there, they get into a cheating back-and-forth. They were both proficient adulterers, it seems.
When Judge Lynn asked why she married a Nazi, she said she was trying to get him to change. He said, "I wouldn't marry a Nazi." She countered that it's alright if he burns crosses on black families lawns and whatnot, as long as it's not in front of her. He returned fire with the fact that she had a van of lesbians jump him in an effort to steal her child back when they were separated; this was because he didn't want his son to be around gays. He also didn't like it when she brought Mexicans to his house. She didn't like him falling $23K behind on child support.
This episode really outdid itself one minute to the next.

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