Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Nathaniel Williams vs Nicole Williams

Here's what the Nathaniel and Nicole Williams' marriage looks like after a year:
-- Nicole, who has two-toned hair, likes to throw dishes at people, and break them over their heads. This is only a problem when "their" means "a young daughter's."
-- Nathaniel, who seemingly talks a good game, likes to take Nicole to strip clubs to set threesomes up. This is only a problem since Nicole doesn't like sharing now that they're married, particularly since he wants menages all tha time. And that's a problem since pre-weddin', Nicole was all up on that MFF action.
So back and forth they go. Nicole's lazy and uncaring, in Nathaniel's eyes. The marriage was doomed from the beginning, in Nicole's eyes, even after they shared 13 girlfriends. "When we go out, it's a mutual thing," says Nathaniel, "she was never forced. We got this thing when we get together, we draw women to us. And my swagger's a 100, so you know what I'm saying, it is what it is." To which, Nicole just laughed.
Judge Lynn's fascinated by this point, asking all about the intricacies of threesome arrangment. Well, Nicole interjects that, "they take one look at me and they automatically want to go home. HE AIN'T GOT NO SWAGGER ABOUT HIMSELF!"
She then says that she "just sits back and watch." To which Nathaniel was cut-off while asking what she's doing while watching: "Well she don't watch for long!"
From there, attention turned to:
-- Nathaniel being a pig and not cleaning up after himself.
-- Nathaniel moving his brother (and family) in, and Nicole moving her mammy in to the home
-- Nicole displaying some "angry-sister" syndrome because "you not gonna talk crazy to me."
-- Nicole got two cars impounded on him.
-- Their last fight was about chicken, specifically who got the first plate of it. This is a big deal, apparently, when he took too much chicken and refused to put some back, so she smacked the plate out his hand. Thus, he smacked her, and the cops be'lee'd him. (She says he hit her in the face; he conceded that he pushed her across the floor.)
This one lost all luster when it got away from the threesome talk though. You know it. I know it. And Judge Toler knows it.

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