Friday, November 6, 2009

Myranda Bridges vs. Brandon Bridges

White people say the craziest things.
Like Myranda Bridges, a dame with an even-too-loony-for-a-circus grin, thicker-than-a-thicket-of-sticker-bushes eyebrows, and all sorts of colors dangling from her neck. "I want a divorce from this worthless, lazy race-tracker who doesn't do anything but care about his barn that's full of horses. ... He loves his horses more than he loves me or his family."
Or like Brandon Bridges, who kisses his horses and gambles on the ponies all while looking like that Bateman guy from American Psycho: "It started coming off the tracks when Myranda here could not transition from beauty queen to wife. She still thinks she should be up on a pedestal."
I mean, in the beauty-queen pix, Myranda's got a tight, tight body. Points awarded for that, but then deducted for whinery.
Seems that she doesn't like Brandon bringing dirty boots home, or leaving his dishes in the sink.
This is like a subpar Honeymooners that wouldn't even grab interest from CW execs.
Oh, so Queenie plays the guitar. Alanis, she's not. She went acoustic with a song ripping Brandon. It was uncomfortable to listen to.
She wants to be an entertainer. But entertaining, she isn't.
So Brandon, who didn't think he could be wit just one woman since sex be his temptation, says they ain't banging much anymore. Myranda says that's because he just comes in all grabbing for breastuses and whatnot without playing fore. She said she offered 15 minutes of bedplay everyday for 5 minutes of cleaning 'round the house.
I'm bored.
Go away, Bridges x2.

1 comment:

  1. I'd give 5 minutes for 20 minutes of cleaning. That chick is stupid for offering 15 minutes for 5. What can you clean in five minutes? You can't even load a dishwasher. Unless you don't rinse...