Monday, November 2, 2009

Jessie Walker vs. Robert Walker, Tha Update Session

Yo, these two folks were on back in March, during an era that the D.C. updates were confined to Facebook status updates. The times, they might have changed for me, but they didn't for the Walkers. Seems that Robert is even more stingy than he was back in the Spring. And THAT was the second time they were in Judge Toler's courtroom. So, what gives?
I mean, it ain't like Robert's gonna go out and grab some strange. Nope, Jessie's the pinnacle for ole Robert-san. I mean, sure, the dame admits to sweeping up any loot that Robert leaves around the house. He started putting it in the Bible, cause she don't read the Bible, but she found it the next day. He says she smelt it.
While Robert was ordered to give her $50 a week, Jessie brought a circus-big-top of a bra in to show her honor the extend of her wardrobe. Robert just laughed.
But then, Jessie brought us what I think is a Divorce Court first: She did what all good chicks do at Mardi Gras. Thank God she left some of it on. Look ...

Oh, Robert was just laughing again. Seems that it's all in good fun for 'im.
"He needs to buy me some undergarments!" she says. "That's cold-blooded stuff your honor."
Robert: "I get her anything she wants."
Jessie: "Liar! Liar!"
Robert: "Look at it this way: Why should I, when she steal all the money anyway?"
Brian: Touche!
Jessie then accused him of not only being stingy with the money, but stingy with the love. Hard times all around, yo.
Robert: "If she would only close her mouth for five minutes, I would be happy. If she would stay out of my drawer, and out of my wallet, I would be OK."
Oh, Robert's 82 and Jessie's 56 and they just found out Robert had cancer. Total buzzkill, right?
So, Jessie don't really want to leave him. "He needs me, your honor," she says. And when Robert is asked whether he wants to keep on keepin' on with Jessie (this, after the judge said they can't be coming back to court for a fourth time), Robert responds, "This the last time I'm coming here. Yes (I still want a divorce.)"
Then, Toler explained that she's going to walk with a whole lotta cash should they go through with the divorce. Robert, who is called "Doctor," said he makes "eight thousand, or sixteen hundred, a month," which Jessie corrects to the accurate "$3,000." The final tally? $1,200 a month for the next six months.
But I know it, Robert knows it, Jessie knows it and Judge Toler knows it: The Walkers will not get divorced.

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