Just when you thought it was safe to put your local Fox affiliate on.
Now, a Divorce Court episode about UFO abductions is one thing. But when cutiepie-butter-with-Cindy-Brady-lisp-and-underbite Alex Vacca has to say, "He has gone completely insane, and believes that the Apocalypse is happening," well, that bears concern. Even if the lady has some gingerism too her.
Seems that Alex's husband has just snapped over the past six months or so. He joined some group called Apocalypse Soon that has all of this proof about super-volcanos and whatnot that purportedly hasten the world's end. Asked for evidence of said end-times, Thom -- a snooty douche who should probably have recognized his dame has a tight, slammingly lithe body and got up on that for what little time we all have left -- responds with an arrogant sigh and, "Where would you like me to begin?" Then, he gets all into that movie trailer about the Mayans who say the world will end 12.21.12 and claims he has consulted ancient texts. His additional ancillary evidence includes:
-- Super Volcanos
-- The return of West Nile Virus
-- Terrorist Threats
-- The Economy
"It's all right in front of our face," he says.
To which Judge Toler thinks that maybe the Mayans just didn't see those white folks (Spaniards) coming to wipe them out on their own peoples' armageddon. Touche, Lynn. "There's always been horror and terror in the world. You're just upset that it's happening to you," she said.
So here's what I'm thinking: Thom is a relatively smart guy, but he's always been enraged that people don't think he's too smart. He hooks up with like-intelligenced folk who said, "Well, we know how to get back at the world: We'll make a case that they're all gonna die. They're not, of course. But oh how everybody will think we have super brains and super smarts!"
When asked what the group is doing to prepare for what'll happen next December, Alex interjects, "They're quitting their jobs. They're selling their wives' crystal and cars ..."
Thom says they're stockpiling supplies and preparing their minds on a "spiritual level. ... This is my calling."
"I don't know who he is anymore," she says. "He's turned unreasonably crazy, and reckless, and cruel. Our future together, he doesn't see that we have a future together, because there is no future."
Thom says he wants Judge Lynn and the audience to get on-board, too. He then displays a hand-signal they do, while chanting "Ohmm" while pressing both pinkies into their forehead.
The court brings, via cam, Skeptic Magazine Publisher Dr. Michael Shermer into the mix. Yeah, he's heard about the Mayan thing. How couldn't he? It's a Lloyd Dobler movie, after all. His advice? "Mayans had no sense of an end of the world" to which Thomas asks in vain, "Did you talk to the Mayans?" This exchange sums it up nicely:
Thom: What about NASA being concerned with the 2012 and solar flares?
Shermer: NASA is not concerned with 2012.
Shermer: I've talked to NASA scientists and they have no concern about this at all.
Thom: I really disagree with you but I appreciate your (input).
Shermer: The worst thing would be that Twitter would crash for a day.
Laughs all around, except from Thom's direction
Shermer: If he really believes the world is coming to an end, he should give all of his stuff to his wife right now. Just turn it all over to her because, what does he need his stuff for if the world's coming to an end.
Shermer: Ma'am, take your stuff and run.
From there, he rips on her for being air-quotes massage therapist. He says she works around germs all day and brings them back to the sacred space he's trying to create. Meanwhile, apparently non-rub-and-tug money is what keeps them in money.
All told, it may or may not be the end of the world as we know it, and Alex Vacca deserves to feel fine. Kick him to the Mexican border, babydoll. You deserve better.
Unless, of course, he's right.