Sunday, October 18, 2009

Donald Bing vs Wannette Bing

Let's start this out with some full disclosure: Me and Donald Bing are Facebook friends. That's right. We cool.
And once I heard some of his ex-womanfolk's complaints, I knew why. Primarily, not only does she complain that Donald be "ghetto fabulous" -- Wannette says he owns a million and one white T-shirts, a million and one designer jeans and considerably more sneakers than he has feet --but check it:
Donald doesn't have one gold tooth. He got three gold teeth.
What she gone do 'bout the respect he gets fo that?
That's right, nothing.
So anyway, Donald's saying that the lights went out one time so he called the utility people and they told him it was because they didn't pay the bill. Then, he looked in the closet and found all these new clothes. That's right: She bought clothes 'stead of payin' that electricity note. And that ain't no joke.
Upon learning Wannette's wrecked three cars, Judge Lynn asked, "do you have a little bit of concern about your driving ability?" To which Wannette retorted, "No, ma'am, I don't."
"You think you drive fine, three wrecks is OK?"
Side note: One car didn't have any insurance on it because, sayeth Wannette, "I let it lapse."
From there, Donald explains that he "heard something from my family member that she had sex with my family member." The same family member is both. That's cold, Wannette. Ice f'in cold. Even if you deny it! And then you go and steal Donald's rims?!
The same Donald that moved to Atlanta to set up a new life for y'all? The same Donald that, in Judge Lynn's words, "put $1,500 rims on a $900 car." Aw yeah, livin the dream!
Sure, they were separated for a year when he heard another dude on her voicemail, and maybe it isn't all that good to be calling her phone 68 times n'shit. And, how separated is a couple that's still banging even though the lady half thinks they're separated? Not that separated at all, yo.
But Donald, Facebook friend to Facebook friend: Getchaself as far from Wannette as possible. Ain't nothing good come when you two around each other.

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