Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Quianna Jeffries vs. Deandre Jeffries
Since this case seems revolve around rap -- specifically bad rap -- I'd like to start with a shout out: What up, Judge Lynn, keep on with your intense with common sense self. You do Philly proud.
Now where was I? Oh yes, "Rap Talkin'" Quianna being all like, Wah, Deandre's controlling and has OCD. Wah, Deandre freaked out when Quianna didn't put hangers in the closet properly or gets weird like that dude with the alphabetized cans in that old Julia Roberts movie.
Well, Deandre breaks it down like this: "I'm into order ... and it's easier for me to find seasonings when they're in order." Aw yeah.
Get this: D's dream is to be a rapper and a producer, but Q keeps getting in the way of his Jay-Z-ing. So Q's all like, We're in business together. And then there was one "paying opportunity" that she messed up by getting all, Yo, Deandre, I should be up in this bitch too.
So, about eight minutes into this I've made two observations: Quianna's wack. And Quianna can't rap, even after telling Judge Lynn she was "good." She considers controlled talk lecturing rap. It ain't.
But then up on the mic gets Deandre and, well, he's better that MC Qui, but so am I. And so is Charlie Dawg who's sitting at my feet right now, just waiting for Big Daddy Kane to get on the horn and invite her onto a couple tracks. But, he still ain't all that good. (His reason for divorce is "wife isn't supportive of his rap career" and wants $900 for a TV.)
Hey, I'm all for people pursuing their dreams so I don't be hatin'. Quianna's got a point about D blowing a night out with her so he could use the VIP passes to meet a rapper. Deandre just wants her to understand more, and Quianna just wants him to explain more. That, and doing some stuff around the house every once and a while. Or stop trying to "get rich on eBay," "try to open a hot-dog stand," or "create stuff on the Internets."
Alas, the 400 pounds of hot dog meat went to waste because, as per Deandre, "I can't eat 400 pounds of meat."
Just like that, it became easy for me to order that Deandre may be a decent dude, but at his core, he's a meat-fearing ladyboy. But, even more pressing is my concurring with Judge Lynn that Quianna is "ghetto simple." I'm not sure what's worse. Ok, Quianna's worse. Deandre should be all, "Good Riddance."