Monday, September 28, 2009

Mari Cole vs. Eddie Cole












Yes, it's a safe bet -- after checking out those pictures atop these words -- that I think well-dressed Eddie Cole's mustachio is totally, unequivocally Boss. This is the truth. But from what Mari's saying right out the gate, Eddie is most certainly not as boss as his virile stash.
Take the wedding night, for instance. Eddie got into a knock-down drag-out with one of the two sons deemed, by Mari, as gangsters. "I went to the phone to call the police to try and break it up," Mari says, "and another family member ... grabbed a pan and cracked me upside the head with the pan and I still got the scar to prove it to this day! I shoulda left him that night."
"I wish she woulda left me that night," Dapper Ed said, gesticulating (if that means making rehearsed hand gestures. "I knew the marriage was over when that happened."
So, just a recap: New bride gets headsmacked with pan. New husband knew relationship was doomed ... before the reception.
That's just plain awesome.
Big picture, it seems that Daddy's Lil Rugrats can't do no wrong in the Proud Papas eyes, even when he bails them up out of the jails and prisons. Rugrat Nicolas Cole testified via video that Mari "needs to grow up, accept that my dad is not gonna forget about is kids and that's all I got to say about Mari." I wish I heard more but I was transfixed on the mongo zit on Nicolas' forehead.
Listen, Mari is probably regretting that time has rendered her non-pole-worthy so she's as charming as a double-wide welcome gnome but Eddie, man, he reminds me of Zed as in "Zed who keeps The Gimp in the basement." Not cultured enough to sew a lady suit, nor reasonable enough to realize discipline is part of effective maturation. A dozen minutes in, Eddie defends his 16-year-old for getting pinched on armed-robbery charges. He has a point, though, when he says her "thug" accusations don't contribute to a showing-respect willingness on behalf of thee Cole boyz.
Other fun facts:
-- Mari wants $1,800 in reimbursements for the 12 rings she was forced to pawn. It looks like she used the ring money to get "motel room, gas for the truck and food."
-- She's called the cops on Eddie so often that the lawmen said if she cries wolf again, she's going downtown. (Well, downboondocks.)
-- They agree that Mari's a hot-head.
-- She says "suh-pose-uh-blee."
-- Say what they will about Eddie, though, but his stash is still boss.

2 comments:

  1. Brian if you knew the whole frickin story , i'm sure you would change your tune. Eddie's no good gangster kids will never have a life!!!! the oldest one "scott" jumped parole. Called his dad , and he went running acrossed 5 states to get him and bring him back to texas, knowing he was wanted the the law. I was not going to go to JAIL for that good for nothing kid !!!!! the night they got back to texas eddie gave the little asshole whiskey, beer and weed. Then they sat around swapping jail storys. YA his dad was realy tryin to guide him huh ???? What a asshole !!!!

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  2. ********** UPDATE ON THE GANGSTER KIDS *********
    SCOTT , THE OLDEST KID THAT JUMPED PAROLE, WAS PICKED UP IN MICHIGAN. TAKIN BACK TO VIRGINIA, HE DID 2 YEARS. GOT OUT WENT BACK TO TEXAS, WITH EDDIE. THE COPS WERE CALLED NUMERIOUS TIMES ON SCOTT & NICK BECAUSE OF THE DRINKING AND FIGHTING WITH EDDIE. ( NICK WAS THE KID IN THE VIDEO ) SCOTT HELD UP THE LITTLE MOM & POP STORE 1 MILE FROM OUR HOUSE. HE GOT CAUGHT AGAIN, PUT IN JAIL. EDDIE BAILED HIM OUT . AGAIN HE JUMPED BAIL AND WENT TO MICHIGAN. MEAN TIME NICK KNOCKED UP A MARRIED WOMEN, AND WAS STEALING EVERYTHING THAT WASNT SUPER GLUED DOWN FROM EDDIE. THEY GOT DRUNK ONE NIGHT AND NICK BEAT THE HELL OUTTA EDDIE, EDDIE CALLED THE COPS AND HAD NICK PUT IN JAIL. EDDIE AND HIS SISTER LOST THE HOUSE TO FORCLOSURE, ( HMM WONDER WHY ?? ) THE SISTER MOVED BACK TO MICHIGAN , EDDIE IS LIVING IN A TENT @ ONE OF THE SO CALLED NO GOOD FRIENDS YARD, THAT MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE. SCOTT WAS LIVING WITH HIS BIOLOGICAL MOM, AND SHES JUST AS BAD AS THEY ARE. NO JOB, A DRUNK, AND A THIEF. THEY GOT DRUNK ON SCOTT'S BIRTHDAY (4-11-2011 ) AND HIS MOMMY CALLED THE COPS ON HIM CAUSE SHE KNEW HE HAD JUMPED FROM TEXAS. THEY CAME PUT HIM IN JAIL, CHARGED HIM WITH DESTRUCTION OF PROPERTY ( MOMMY'S HOUSE ) AND POSSESION OF WEED. HE IS NOW AWAITING EXTERDITION BACK TO TEXAS TO SERVE HIS TIME FOR ARMED ROBBERY AGAIN!!! HMMM SOUNDS LIKE EDDIE WAS REALY GUIDING THEM. AND THAT THEY REALY WERE GOING THRU A THASE..... THE ONLY THING THOSE TO KIDS HAVE TO LOOK FORWORD TO IS BEING IN A 6X6 WITH BARS FOR THE REST OF THERE LIFE, OR A 4X6 WOODEN BOX WITH TONS OF DIRT ON TOP OF THEM. SO HOW DOES EVEYBODY LIKE WE KNOW ????? HMMM SEEMS LIKE I WAS RIGHT ALL A ALONG. HELL EVEN EDDIE ADMITED THAT ..... SO WHO HAS THE LAST LAUGH NOW BRIAN

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