Let's see, today is Sept. 3, 2009, right? Why do I ask that simple questions. Oh, because right out of the gates, the Divorce Court screen says "Last Appearance: May 16, 2008." Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that can only mean Cynthia Brown and Shawn Brown that have twice taken their cases to Judge Lynn Toler in the past 16 months. But wait, it gets better: Factor in that the episode first appeared on Feb. 2, 2009 and the math tells me that they were there twice in just under the nine-month nick. Put another way, their rekindling love was prematurely proven impossible.
Only three words can describe that: Awe, some and awesome.
So here's the breakdown: In their first appearance, Shawn said the divorce was all over "some chicken tenders" whilst Cynthia claimed that while the two of them were outside one night, some tramp stopped her car and said, "Shawn where you supposed to be and when she didn't want to leave, I beat her through the window." Diet, cheating, violence. Three options right there.
Well, they got back together after May '08's Chicken Tender Battle. Cynthia says that for about five months, Shawn was fine, but then he went back to the trampin' about. Yet Shawn says that it only took about a week for her to get back to her Inspector Gadget mode. "Basically, I just want to get as far away from this woman as I can," he said. She's "back to her old ways. All crazy. And stalkin'."
He's a cabdriver, with a lot of ladies who call him, he says, for work. But when those ladies call, here goes Cynthia again, breaking glass and carrying on. "It's obvious he was out there cheating again," sayeth Cynthia, who checked his voicemails to make her case that customers were actually lovers. And when she called one of the girls, she heard, "He told me he had a roommate, not a wife."
I think I'm leaning toward Shawn, however, since Cynthia readily admitted that she chased him with a knife one night when he got home. But just as soon as I could type that, Shawn's gotta get all, "I don't want to be with a big girl anymore. I want a skinny girl." To defend himself, husky guy says that it bothers him that Cynthia's grown into being able to wear his clothes. Rut roh. Then, he said she pulled the fake pregnancy card on him. Even though he later found out she couldn't get pregnant. But that the test came up positive because she -- wait for it -- borrowed urine from a pregnant chick. Double rut roh.
Sounds as if we have a pair of very decent people at work here.