Wednesday, July 8, 2009

McKinniss v. McKinniss


Gary McKinniss is the kind of guy who brings a cowboy hat with him to Divorce Court, but knows better than to obscure our view of his permullet with it. (Think of him as a trailor-park inspired version of the narrator from Lebowski.)
Whose wife of 22 years, Kathy, offers a video of Gary brushing one of his three horses hair and says, "He doesn't brush my hair like that." (Heartbreaking but understandable as she didn't dress better than a TJ Maxx sale for her -- I would assume -- only TV appearance.)
Who gets accused of stealing 12K from their joint checking account despite that she doesn't have a job and he's the breadwinning maintenance man at 119 properties!
Whose mother-in-law, Dororty Blankenship, came to court via speakerphone to weigh in on her daughter's longing to break the ties that bind her to Gary. (Talk about backfiring; Ms. Blankenship said she "loves him but just wish he'd get a full-time job.)
Who won't let his bride watch "the murder stuff on Lifetime because he thinks I'm plotting" (Those assembled may have laughed heartily, but Gary confirmed that it was a "good possibility. ... She already ranned me over with truck, gave it more gas when I was in front of it on my bike." This, after she pulled all the wires out of his car because he "was leaving.")
Who, when his wife was getting ready to go out and find a job, stole and hid her shoe. (It would have been shoes, but she already had one on!) Talk about a jealous streak!
Who doesn't know if his 15-year-old daughter Kalee is flesh and blood. If she wasn't, he wanted a divorce. If she was, wife wanted a divorce. A Divorce Court Catch-22 if I've ever seen one!(A paternity test proved she was and Judge Toler, at the end of the show, urged him to get on his 'pologizin' knees and make up his questioning of Kalee, to Kalee. Indeed, he planned on it.)
But, worst of all in Kathy's eyes, "He wants to watch wrestling (all the time.) He wants me to watch wrestling. I don't like wrestling!"

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