Thursday, January 14, 2010

The Final Post Here

Hey all. Hope the last decade treated you well. Mine was kind of up and down, naw'mean?
In any event, this mass email will have to suffice as a personalized touch. For that, I'm sorry. But not as sorry as I would have been had I needed to type, oh, hundreds of separate emails to make what, in the grand scheme of things, are simple points. To wit:

-- I have a new website. It's brianphickey dot com.
-- Yes, the P stands for Pimp. Because I'm pimp.
-- Fine, it's Patrick. You just had to destroy my dreams, didn't you?
-- My new email address is hickey at brianphickey _dot_ com.
-- Yes, hotmail is still piped into my BlackBerry, but I'd rather just centralize all my online dealings to the site.
-- Because the site is named after me, and I think that's pretty cool -- even if I did the naming.
-- So, in review, please go to my new site, use my new email. Heck, while you're there, why not register at All the cool kids do.
-- The Saints will beat the Chargers in the Super Bowl. Bet.

Brian P. Hickey

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

New site

Go check this out. All the cool kids do.

-- 30 --

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Back in the USoA

Hey all, hope your Christmases were merry and your New Year's Eve, good. We're back from our trip, but I'm still loopy-headed from all the travel and whatnot. Will start posting tomorrow, but the site will be shifting from here to So, bookmark it and start going there, if you'd be so kind as the only thing that'll appear on this page henceforth is something to the extent of, "Online me moved. Go here."
All the best in '10.

Monday, December 21, 2009


Veredicto Final recaps soon join the Divorce Court blog. On now: Priest/exorcist instead falls in love with a stripper and a family argument about either moving out or illicit relations, rudimentary Spanish tells me.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Till '010

Hey all, I'll be back in the Divorce Court writin' business after Jan. 2. Till then, ta-ta!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Monica Gray vs Jonathan Gray

Wednesday Addams -- oops, I mean Monica Gray -- wants to purge Jonathan Gray from their marriage because she fears his mean streak onaccounta the fact that her father killed someone in front of her when she was young. And, CHiPs officer John Baker -- oops Jonathan Gray -- wants trade her in for a Thursday because she failed to tell him she'd been married not once, but twice before.
After sifting through 22 minutes of blah, he lies; blah, she says I'm irresponsible; blah, "he stripped me of my independency" and blah, we're governed by anger issues and call each other nasty names; it all seemed cut-and-dried to me: VH1 should give these two a few bottles of Hennie, and let the cameras just roll. If he was black-out drunk on the wedding night -- which he was -- America needs to see what happens behind the Grays' closed doors.
Call the show Gray's Insanity and let the chips fall where they may.
I know I'd watch. You know you would, too.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Roseann Jones vs William Jones

So, a few years ago, when Roseann Jones said "I Do" to William Jones, he was 17 years older than she was. In fact, he's three years older than her parents. Fast-forward to this week, when they was on Divorce Court, because she wanted to take off because -- wait for it -- -- just a second longer -- he's acting like he's 17 years older than she is.
Well, there is something else: He don't like Young Jeezy, and he doesn't like watching Lifetime and BET with her in lieu of his soaps. They don't sleep Plus, "I smoke cigarettes and he doesn't likes that." I think she said "likes" to deflect attention from her smoking in bed. And that she calls him a "fat b[itch]." And, fat bitch seems to have a calendar of some dude he knew, in drag, laying across a pool table, 12 months of the year.
Seems William was in the midst of a mid-life crisis and someone hooked him up, in New York City, with a step-daughter who asked him to marry her after a month or so. The story's hard to follow. But what isn't is that William looks fly in his post-mid-life-crisis cornrows. "She was all about the money," the bus driver says. Beep beep!
Remember Miss Parker, the one who be banging midgets and ministers in Friday? Roseann be looking like that tramp, but with a whole lotta tracks or weaves or whatever them fake-hair jawns called these days. And William looks like a weight-bearing Mos Def at 45. Roseann, she grates on the nerves after 8 minutes, let alone 8 months or 8 years. When you break it on down to the bare elements, the whole point of running tight with a young broad is that the eye-candy do and treat you the way you want to be treated in exchange for a sweet ride and sweet house and supa-sweet dolla-bill stack in her pockets.
William, this Roseann chick and worth the investment of time or bed-side earnings. So git on ya bus and restore our faith in money-centered sexual relations.